Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Birthday you never forget.

Lets take it back, wayyyyy back. I had just finished my 2nd semester of college with straight A's! Next thing I know I am pregnant and my life turned upside DOWN! I gave birth 2 months after I had turned 20 and quickly became a single mother by the age of 21. I spent years struggling to find my place in life , single and with a child. I often struggled with my own need to grow and be independent while also being there for Justin, keeping in mind he might be my only baby for awhilllllle (since I had started so young and not prepared).

       I was able to stay home with him for 2 years and tried my hardest to cherish every single moment. This year I look at our lives and just cry because Justin and I have lived many lives together. More importantly in a realistic way grew up together! 

      The reason this birthday has been really hard on me is because something in him changed. He has become a big kid. He talks differently, he thinks differently. Heck he even walks different?! He is more aware of the world around him and NOTHING gets passed him. He can hold a real conversation and occasionally gives better advice than adults! He has become an amazing student and loves to read. And well he has changed. 

     As I sit here trying to write with huge tears rolling down my face . I tell myself well he grew up?!?? And its hard /happy/sad/joyful mainly sad because he was my first baby. I fought hard to give him a good life no matter  what  horrible and difficult circumstance life threw at me and I have so much I mean SO much to thank Justin when he is older because he changed   me and gave me the motivation and more importantly the determination to be a better person. So yes this is the birthday I will never forget for its when my baby officially grew up into a big kid! :)



2 comments:

  1. Your an amazing mama and friend! Justin and Kaylee are very lucky to have you as their mama!

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  2. This is the most touching thing I have ever read. It brought a tear to my eye. Justin is an amazing young man just like his amazing mommy. You did wonderfully raising him. I love you both with all my heart <3 and although I met him when he was 3 I even saw him grow up a bit as well. And Kaylee is so lucky to have a mother and brother like you and J.

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